You know what this means.

North Carolina, I'm coming back to you. Are you ready for this hot mess? I'll tell you what I'm ready for. I'm ready for ovens, dryers, timeliness, and all things efficient. I'm ready for grown up friends with jobs and dreams. I'm ready for a good sleep in a good bed. I'm ready for barbecue, chili, and anything I want because I will have all my shit. I will say goodbye to this siren city in 3 days. This trip has been one gigantic party and I am ready to set down the Polish piwo in exchange for a PBR.

I wanted to take a minute and write a little about some life lessons I have learned while on this trip. My family, you dear people, have supported me generously and I can not fully express my appreciation any other way. As most of you know when I left high school I stayed close to home because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to take care of myself without you close by. I was young, and I had made a lot of mistakes. Fortunately, I knew that I had many more mistakes to go before I would be ready to take on the world alone. Those mistakes became habits and dreams faded as realities set in. Pretty soon I found myself in a static life that I had built. But, I still wanted something more. I was bored and I needed a great adventure. With the encouragement of my friends and the support of my university I was able to find one.

Being here I've learned that without risk there is no fun (was,was, Maria?!). From here on out I will try to venture into paths that are risky. I know that I can handle this because when I came here I was so scared of making more mistakes. However, I've realized that the things I was fearing were not important, and when I it came time to face them they were not as bad as I had thought.

I learned that I shouldn't complain so much about my life because I've got it a lot better than some people. I'm sure that I will still be a baby about things, but I at least have this trip to remind myself that I've got a good life. So, lesson #2: It's funny because it's not funny. Just laugh at it.

I talked many times earlier in this blog about how I was trying to teach myself that less is more. Well, that is a fine motto, but truth be told, more is more. Sometimes it's perfectly ok to go over the top. It creates the comedy that life needs to support lesson #1: No risk, no fun.

Lesson #4: There are worse things than being alone. For example, sitting on a bus next to a Polish girl who wants to talk to you for the full 7 hours that it takes to get to its destination, which leads me to lesson #5.

You should choose your words wisely. I can honestly say that 70% of my frustrations stemmed from confused conversations that were absurdly lost in translation. Even when I return to my mother tongue in its finest form, I will never forget that people don't read minds. Therefore, you should say what you mean and say it nicely.

Everything else can be chalked up to history made into reality. You can read all you want to about a country, but it makes so much more sense when you are standing in a newly remodeled building looking at a picture from 50 years before when it was entirely destroyed. It just really makes you think, "What the fuck?" I still can't possibly wrap my mind around what these people have been through, and I won't try anymore. They have all my respect because they have had a difficult road to get to where they are, which is no where. But hey, at least they are trying in a stupid, backward, "never gonna happen if you do it like this" kind of way. They've got spirit, and the picture below shows it.

This is a statue that is by the bus station here. It represent the people after Martial law was implemented in Poland. Martial law was used in Poland in an attempt stifle the solidarity movement, which eventually led to Poland's freedom. If you remember one of my first blogs was about the Orange Alternative movement. This movement stemmed from Solidarity. However, after martial law, life became chaotic here, and standing in lines to buy goods with rations became a normal way of life. In short, that's what this statue is a reminder of. I can not begin to explain to you how strange it is to sit in the city center and imagine that all of these corporate stores, that stand brightly painted, at one point in time were just totally empty, dull, grey, stood with long lines of miserable people coming out of them. So, refer to lesson #2.

Finally, the trip to Budapest was wonderful. It's an amazing city. I'll post pictures on Facebook as soon as it lets me.

History in the making...

I was watching some shows on how fucked up this world is, and I stumbled upon this video about where vodka originally came from. Even though it is about vodka, I think that it does a great job of giving the viewer a good perspective of what Poland has been through. It's about 35 minutes long, but I really recommend this one. Maybe it's my culture shock kicking in, but I sort of felt like crying at the end of it.

http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-travel/wodka-wars

I am so tired...

...of living in Poland. It is 9 am and they are doing some serious construction in this building. Perhaps it would have been better to come 2 years from now when this place is top notch. Meanwhile, my roommate currently has wrapped her pillow around her face in an attempt to block out all the noise. I don't know what I'm going to do. What happens when I go home and there are no more sirens and construction noise? Will you promise to drill and bang like the best of the Polish people?

Seriously, I should be exhausted. I know you're thinking, "boo-hoo," but this lifestyle is no easy task. I have to party everyday. My friends need me. Is it fun? No, not really, but I am funny, and every party needs a funny woman. -Actually, it is kind of fun. I get a superfluous amount of attention seeing as no one has anything better to do. Plus, everyone is exceedingly nice.

I finished my paper, and by finished I mean I didn't write it. That's how easy it is. I thought, "GOD! I just want to be done." I checked my credits and it's ok. I am done. I have 6 credits more then I need even without the paper. It's amazing.

Tomorrow, I'm going to Budapest for one last trip before I board that beautiful plane. This is what your wonderful money has afforded me. I'm pretty sure that in the future I would never think, "You know, we should save our money and go to Budapest this year." So, thank you for this opportunity. I will continue to work toward a better blogging community. Oh! If you have a blog please don't hide it from me. I want to see it.

You look like a little poop animal!

This is your cute moment for the day.

It is your birthday.

And, by yours I mean mine. You can see by this image above that I am having a great time. That image is from my birthday party. The theme was "Everyone wants to be Marlowe." It was meant to be a physical roast of sorts. You know when everyone makes fun of you, but only because they love you. It went really well. My roommate was hilarious in her drunken antics, and by the end of the night I had "happy birthday" sung to me in 10 different languages. I don't know if you guys saw the video that was posted on facebook, but you can see everyone singing to me and that I'm not there. I actually left because they would not stop singing "happy birthday." Then the singing moved on to "In the Jungle." Luckily, the band moved on to the rest of the dormitory, and I could escape the sing along that never ends. I love those guys in all seriousness. For my birthday, my friend Stefano wrote me a letter. He worked on it for days getting the English right and the hand writing neat. That is worth more to me than anything one can buy.

Anyway, I'm still writing these last two essays. I want them to be good because they will be the last ones of my college career. I've already gotten a few grades. They are A's and B's, but that really means nothing. It just means I completed my one assignment. Besides that, the grades don't transfer back so I could have done nothing and it would have the same outcome. I have a serious guilt complex so I do the work, and the work is decent.

Today, we're going to make crepes, bacon, eggs, and mimosa's. Then we're going to watch "I Heart Huckabee's." I think I'll work on these papers for a while and leave up my different pages so anyone who wants to contact me can. Teresa is having a dinner at her and Xuane's new flat. Then the good-bye party for the students is tonight. So, I'll go to that and contemplate how temporary life is. On that note, I have breakfast to make and you all have life to live. Live it well. Adieu.

All I can say is, God bless 2010.

I don't know about you, but I have a lot of anxiety. This article (and I say article loosely) is dedicated to all the women. Men, this is just a bit of the historical aspect of what women have gone through because of you. Perhaps, not so much you, and mainly your predecessors. I would like to consider myself to be a mild mannered feminist. The type that respects what women have fought for in the past. This is just one of the many examples as to why we have to keep paying attention to the role we take as a sex simply because it's stories like this that scare the shit out of me.

http://www.viceland.com/wp/2010/01/the-a-to-z-of-sexual-history-h-hysteria-and-teh-monster-in-your-womb/

Isn't it weird?

I am trying to do work. There's not much left just 4 papers. I'm sorry I'm too busy to post blogs. I'll try to come up with a plan for this weekend.

I thought I would never find this again.

There must be a God.

People who like to fall down, do fall down.

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AH!

Xuane's back! Yay! I've been so bored. I read a whole book. Can you imagine? I've, also, watched 6 movies on an 16 GB ipod. My friend Ryan loaned it to me. She has a very unique taste in movies. Her choices consist of Half Baked, Grandma's Boy, American Pie 6 (I didn't even know there were 4), Death Race, Eurotrip, Old School, Pineapple Express, and Role Models. I watched all of them except American Pie and Death Race. Don't worry, I still have time to change my mind. My computer won't be fixed for 2-9 more days. And don't look at me like I should go outside and do something. It is cold and snowy out there.

Tomorrow we return to school. You would think that is a good thing, but it's not. It will just get me out of bed earlier and leave me with more time to figure out how to entertain myself. I do see a bright side to my cloudy Polish sky. I was being obsessive about Lost and Facebook. This computer breakdown saved me from myself. Now, I have to save myself from, well, myself because we are on day 3 without a cigarette. Good start, but I'm pretending each day is the first day I quit. That way the day before is always a practice run. I'll try to find something more interesting to blog about in the coming days. Ciao for now.

I am Fortune's fool.

My computer is broken. Hopefully, it is what I think it is and then it won't be so expensive. I finally found a shop that would fix a Gateway after going to 4 different places. It's amazing how accomplished I felt after getting it to the shop. I was walking around thinking, "Look at me. I have things to do. I'm walking around scary areas of town I've never been. I'm so cool."

It's only because I've been cooped up in my flat for so long. I've never had a cleaner apartment. I cook for myself everyday. Luckily, my ipod isn't broken. I'm glad I really like those songs because I'll be listening to them a lot. I also have some podcasts. In case you all have never listened to the episode of This American Life, "What I learned from Television". Please go back through the archives and find it. No matter how many times I listen to it I always feel warm inside after it's over.

So, I have to leave you here until 2010. Tomorrow, my Kiwi flatmate and my roommate are still away for the holiday. Myself, my Russain flatmate and her boyfriend are going to make dinner. I'm not sure what the plan is for night time, but I got a pretty skirt to wear. I feel good about that. I usually try to dress-up, but I don't have much to work with here. It's all part of my lesson in life that often less is more.

Happy New Year! Here's one of the songs from my ipod. I do recommend this album.

Boże Narodzenie. Here's the Deal.

Polish people have two days when they give presents. The first is on the 6th of December. This is St. Nicholas day. Good children wake in the morning to find candy and presents either in their shoes or under their pillow. However, although this holiday is observed, it pales in comparison to the birthday of Jesus.

On the 24th of December, the children look for the first star to appear (in remembrance of the star of Bethlehem). Once they see it the Christmas dinner may begin. They begin by sharing a holy wafer and wish each other Christmas greetings. Apparently, this is an extremely emotional event in the evening because with it they find their unity with each other and Christ.

Once they break bread it's time for the dinner. The table is set with a white tablecloth that has hay under it. This is to remember where Jesus was born. There is always an extra place set in the case that there is an unexpected visitor. This is a night where everybody is welcome.

The dinner is comprised of 12 dishes. These dishes include, but aren't limited to, barszcz with dumplings (as seen in the picture), mushroom soup, herring, fried carp (served first), peirogies, sauerkraut, compote, and cakes. Everyone has to try a little of everything.

Once dinner is complete the caroling can begin. They sing while they wait for Santa to come. The presents either arrive by Santa himself, are left one the doorstep in a bag, or surprisingly show up under the tree. Then at midnight they go to church to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Everyone prays and sings.

On a personal note, I went to the mass. I would describe it as a marathon of boredom. I'll let you all know when I talk to you exactly how boring it was. That's pretty much it. The town is absolutely dead on Christmas day. I watched from my window and there was not a single car on the street.

I hope everyone has a great time with your friends and family as we work our way towards New Year's Eve. This is my favorite holiday next to Thanksgiving. So party your little hearts out.

Themed Out...

with my a clip from my favorite childhood movie.



I am a dork.

Once Again!

Here we are...once again in the holiday of all holidays. The great time to give from your heart and reflect on the closing year. I will spend my holidays reflecting constantly, and trying to forgive myself for my own harsh criticism. When I'm not doing that, I will be placing you all on a pedestal and kicking myself for not being more like you. At least for not living up to my own potential to make you all proud of me. Honestly, it's a good thing. I know that really you are all proud of me no matter what I do, but this is how I thrive. By doing so, I am busily compiling a list of resolutions for the following year. It should go something like this:

1. Quit smoking
2. Quit hoarding
3. Tone down my clothing
4. Stop picking on people
5. Work out more often
6. Eat better
7. Be cooler
8. Be more creative
9. Be more assertive
ETC.

Typical things that you would expect to be on a list of this nature. I believe that if I can accomplish at least the top three I will be a success. In the coming days I'm going to pick 3 things to get rid of each day until New Years Eve. I packed a retarded amount of shit when I came here. Daily, I ask myself, "What were you thinking?" And I know what I was thinking. "Maybe." Well, no more "maybe" for this baby. It's all yes or no. Life is just a process of acquiring a bunch of stuff that we all think we need, but don't. It's not our fault. I blame advertising. It's ever so subtle in insisting that we all could be just a little bit better if we owned whatever product they are pushing. I for one am a serious victim of this. Whenever I feel down I try to buy my way out of the problem instead of directly addressing it. I'm not sure that I will ever be able to escape the hold advertising has on my mind. But, I have a lot of hope that I've undone some of my subconscious impulses by living here in Poland. Obviously the signs can't hurt me here because I can't read them. Perhaps I can take this back with me to the U.S. and hold on to it in an effort to actually invest in something.

I think a fantastic example of this subliminal fuckery is seen during the shopping season. I watched my roommate try on all the scarves she bought as gifts and insist that she actually needed one too. (Xuane, I mean this in the most loving way. That green scarf looks great on you.) I've done the same thing. Go shopping and buy presents for myself instead of others, but why? I don't need those things. I just want them. I want them so badly that I won't even wait to see if someone else got them as a present for me. It's terrible. I'm going to add this to my resolution list, and I encourage you all to do the same thing. I know that Xuane and I are not the only ones.

Anyway, all of this was just an introduction for me to put up some Christmas links for you all to enjoy when you're spending time together without me. Don't cry for me, North Carolina. I'm a big girl and I'm learning to appreciate the important things in life. Look forward to an extremely educational Christmas Bonanza on Poland culture tomorrow. Enjoy the links and your figgy pudding. Wishing you the Happiest of Holidays from my little Christmas heart!

http://www.viceland.com/wp/2009/12/meet-the-sciortinos/

http://www.akqa.com/happychristmas/

http://blog.elfster.com/2009/12/16/homemade-snow-globes-brighten-any-home/

Christmas!

Howells, I have the ornaments. They are extremely breakable. What do I do with them?

Christmas is fun, and so is living with people.

Don't you wish you were getting a present like this from me?





Wrapped like this.




Since I'm not writing a blog because of the party. Please enjoy these pictures of me being a clutz after leaving the mustache party. We decided that it would be a better idea to eat the food we bought for breakfast for a late night snack. P.S. My roommate is currently trying to use the excess rice from dinner last night to glue her wrapping paper together.

I'm sorry...

I promise things sometimes, and then I disappoint. I know I said I was going to write an exciting blog, but I failed to do so. Right after I posted that last entry, the internet went out in the entire building for the rest of the evening, and most of the following day. My life is like an emotional roller-coaster right now. Bare with me. Some days are diamonds and some days are stones, but here there is no rhyme or reason. I'm trying hard to laugh at it all, but I want a hug. Unfortunately, Poland is fresh out of those. Two more months, and then I will weep as I nestle into the love that you all have afforded me. Until then, I will eat nails for breakfast whilst being punched in the arm to gain the strength I need to endure these mean streets.

I'm writing this entry as a consolation. I can't write a great blog tonight because I have to read an article on nationalism and group identification. Then I have to review how to speak Polish so I can stop staring down the student teachers in hatred of their lesson plans. I promise to not make promises I can't keep. Stay tuned, further intelligence will arrive.

You Are The Winner!

....of my heart! I'm so over that dog now that I found you little man.



I posted this yesterday, but I must have forgotten to actually post it. Today is the day, maybe. I talked to my father yesterday instead of writing the blog.

One more thing for today.

I moved to a nicer room. It's higher up with new windows. This means I have a better view of the city and I can't hear what is happening on the streets anymore. No more dogs constantly barking and sirens constantly blaring. Even the beds are a little more comfortable. Not comfortable, just not as loud and spring loaded as the last bed. I'm going to reconsider Poland tomorrow morning after sleeping in a quiet room. Tomorrow, I have the day off. I'm making breakfast with my friends because they're my new neighbors. I'll finish moving and then.....I'm going to write a really exciting blog.

Dear Diary,

No one reads this everyday. I am basically talking to myself. We are awesome. You're my best friend, because you are me.

Love,

Marlowe

This is just adorable.