Bob's story....

This is my uncle, Bob Huffman (pictured with his lovely wife and daughters). This is his story in reference to "I Love Fanta!":

I made the same mistake too, should have left Bass Barbershop in Clarksville, Virginia when I realized the barber must have lived through the Civil War and all the hang-arounders in the shop were "slow" and "closely related" if you get my drift. The haircut started off badly when he put the neck tissue & cover cloth on sooooo tight I thought he was trying to kill me, my face turned as red as the leather on the barber chair. His dull scissors & shaky hands soon began pulling and yanking out my hair but the worst was yet to be. I was terrified to hear the sound of metal slapping a leather strap, yep, he was yielding a straight razor! Before I could move he had it to the back of my neck, thankfully the scissors were much sharper than the straight razor, he just pulled & scraped all the hair out of the back of my neck. My relief was short lived when he slapped tonic across the area he just "shaved" causing a burn I'll never forget. My ordeal over, I got up, paid & tipped him which got the unwanted attention of everyone in the shop, guess they had never seen tip before, I was setting a really bad precedent and their eyes told me so. Walking down the streets of Clarksville, I saw my reflection in the old wavy glass of the shop windows and thought this isn't that bad. Entering the ladies clothing store I was quickly corrected by the immediate laughter I received from my family and the shopkeeper they were talking to. The shop keeper KNEW where I had been and she informed me, "none of the men in town go to Bass, they all use the beauty parlor for their haircuts". Monday morning I was back in my usual barber's chair getting a real haircut.

WTF

My blog is somber and no where near action packed. I'll try to make the next one a little more up beat. Today, I just thought I would bitch about my morning because I have no one to talk to in my flat. So, it starts with me over-sleeping (or so I thought). I ran out the door with no breakfast or coffee. I missed the bus by, no kidding, one minute. I could see it rolling away as I waited for the traffic to slow so I could cross the street. Then I waited 30 minutes for the next bus. I bought coffee from a coffee machine then spilled it all over myself. I got to class and no one was there. At this point I was just totally pissed off at how the morning is shaping up. I walked outside and started heading back to the bus stop. Then I remembered my friend Craig's confusion when I told him I was late for class. I looked at my watch and I was an hour early. I forgot to set my cell phone an hour back. Then I waited productively by reading articles and studying my Polish nouns and adjectives. When class finally started I could not stay awake. Plus, this teacher relies on me for adding commentary and helping her explain things in English. I was so embarrassed. I literally fell asleep sitting up. I suddenly felt my head falling and woke up. I'm actually laughing out loud at the computer all alone in my flat right now. I am a special person. You are all very lucky to know me.

Next,when I got home I find that there are no coffee cups. I know they are all locked in the other room in the flat. They do this to me constantly. We have like 6 coffee cups and I bought a new one yesterday in hopes that could solve the problem. Nope, all gone. Unbelievable. I'm going to get out of here and go for a walk since it's a beautiful day here. Those always make me feel better. They have really pretty parks around here. Here are some Halloween links that I found very special:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/photos/2009/10/21/2719847.htm

http://www.swanbones.com/paintinggallery.html

Eat your candy and drink your beer!

Germany, part 2

Gutan tag! I'm back from Berlin, obviously. It was a beautiful city, and I want to live there. I could be so cool if I lived there. Living in Greensboro I'm not cool at all. Here I'm only a little cool. There the cool possibilities are endless. There is no glass ceiling for people like me. "Berlin, where all my dreams come true." Like I have dreams anymore. I spent a superfluous amount of money, but I got some new shoes. They are just what I was looking for in a winter shoe (leather, insulated, and a sneaker). I also bought some trinkets for a high price. I'll have to cut whatever corners I can in Amsterdam and around Poland. The city has these bears all over the place. They have some connection to the bear on the Berlin flag. Hence, Bearlin.

We stayed at my friend Nils's best friend's flat. You saw the pictures on Facebook. On Friday, we went to the Robbie Williams concert. These Europeans listen to Robbie Williams and Frank Sinatra, sometimes Robbie covering Frankie, like it's going out of style. The point is it was free, and I'm having fun bragging about how I got to see him to all the Erasmus students who didn't come. After, we went to see the fake wall, but then traveled back to our base camp. The owner made us dinner and we had some drinks before we went out. We got into a very fancy and expensive club. Both of the hosts are "high class" guys (if you catch my drift). It was fun, but I felt under dressed. Then on Saturday we went out to lunch and then walked about town for a while. We visited the check-point Charlie museum, and then we went to the destroyed church. I had misled our guide. Berlin is well known for it's shopping districts. Some are high class and some are eclectic. I told him I wanted to go shopping, and he took me to Gucci. It was still amazing. Saturday evening was basically spent in a cab. Then Sunday we went to the flea market and ate this dish called Currywurst. It was basically a hotdog with barbecue sauce. It was good, but apparently a very popular part of Berlin. A lot of Turkish people live there so the Currywurst and the Kabob are the big dishes. My favorite part was this moment that we had stumbled upon a gay bar for men. I asked this German guy if he would order me a beer there that was popular for the region. He brought me back a Beck's, and if you see nothing wrong about that you should know that Beck's is not from that region. It's more like a PBR or some other run of the mill beer.

It's nice to be back in the Wroc-love. I would say I am completely adjusted. The Polish people are nicer to me because I can at least tell them what I want without messing it all up, but I am still not fluent in the language. There will be problems in the future, but I can deal with them easily. I even went to the post office today and got stamps. However, I wouldn't expect postcards any time soon because the mail system is extremely slow, even with priority. Aside from that, I forgot to go to the Polish film because I was at IKEA again. Unfortunately that means you won't get your Polish lesson for the week from that. However, when I was in the city center today I saw an outdoor exhibit on Polish counter culture. I'll go visit that, and see if it's in English and then I'll take some pictures and relay the information. That way not all is lost. Only I'm the loser because I forgot to go to class.

I leave on Thursday evening for Amsterdam and then arrive back in Wroclaw on Monday morning. We rented a van and will drive there. On the way back we are going to stop at Nils's parents' house for dinner in Germany. This crew of people are around my age which is nice and I've been traveling with younger people on the other trips. There are still many problems with large groups, but we can all handle them more maturely. I've been working on organizing and settling into my flat. I'm ready for it to feel more homely. I like to think of it as nesting. It's going well. That is why I missed class and I was at IKEA. I needed lights for my desk and bookself. Then I became enchanted with candles and kitchenware. Time flies when your having fun. The point of me telling you this is I think this will be the last post for this week as well. There are only 2 days until the trip and they will be spent in preparation. Not to mention I will probably revisit this post to correct any mistakes I have made.

I just want to also mention that I miss my kids movies, new and old. When I return I would like to make a pillow fort with you all and watch all the movies I'm missing. We'll have popcorn, blankets, cokes, candy, snuggles and anything you all want. It would be my honor to make you happy. That's how much I miss you. Someone should dress up as me for Halloween. That way I can be there even though I'm not. Keep it real. Ciao.

And this too, I don't recommend the album.

WELL I'LL B, DEM R DUCKS!

I want this blog to be good so that each day you all will check it because you're hanging on the edge of your seat to see what I post next. I realize that this is merely a dream, and in reality you all have better things to do with your days. Well I don't. I spend my day carefully considering what golden nugget of information to drop on you next. I even keep a little book to jot these ideas down in to make it a little more interesting for my audience. I'm trying, and that is what is important. I find it conceivable that one day I might call myself a decent writer, and I'm sure that you will all enjoy watching me morph into what some might even call an eloquent or an articulate writer. It's not there yet, but I intend to hang in there and I encourage you all to do the same.

After that speech, I would like to present this blog in two subheadings: 1. This Ship is Obviously Sinking, and 2. Radio Free Europe. To start, a quick update and then we’ll move onto some discussion points. The trips are on! I leave for Berlin on Friday morning, and therefore this will be the last blog of the week. Rest assured that you might all look forward to an excitement packed blog on Monday as well as pictures on Facebook. The next weekend is Halloween. I hope you all have very spooky plans and clever costumes. I demand pictures! I'll be going to Amsterdam costumed as a citizen of the ever-prestigious United States of America. Then the 6th of November we go to Krakow! I'm excited to get on the list because they plan the trip for you and they usually get a tour guide to take you around. Jessica Huffman, you had better pay close attention after that weekend because that is when you'll get your Auschwitz information. Everyone else please send me a picture of people doing nice things for each other so I don't go to a dark place. Without further adieu...

This Ship is Obviously Sinking:

Since most of the people I speak to usually tell me about how great college is and how much they miss it; I thought that I would just involve you in some of my class discussions and personal thoughts. This is the first time that I have been able to sign up for classes just because I thought they would be interesting. Previously, of course, I had requirements to fill, but those days are over.

You know what else is over? Working for a grade. I actually requested extra reading assignments today because they keep reducing their work load which was laughable in the first place. I didn't tell you this (because I didn't think you'd care and you probably still don't), but I signed up for an extra class. That's right, a class I don't even need. Which just goes to show that a person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it. I digress, and so this subheading poses the question: What do you think is necessary for global and regional governance (with concern for contemporary war)?

This comes from my class...wait for it...Global and Regional Governance. It was posed to my fellow classmates and myself on Monday. Now, I have no background in these things, but I did just fine presenting a list of my ideas to the class of people who specifically study international relations. I’m sure most of you could come up with at least one thing if not more. These lists might include, but are not limited to, clean water, energy management, environmental regulations, industrial regulations, education, etc. After each person in class had presented their ideas it was a very large list. So large in fact it looks like an impossible problem. Each of these problems is so tightly interwoven that it would be impossible to knock them out one at a time like an itemized list. Furthermore, there is no way to balance out these problems because there are far too many of them, and, again, they are all heavily interconnected. Thus, balance is inevitably impossible and if survival of the inevitable is the only conceivable solution then what are we trying to do? Why do we ship aid to Indonesia for Tsunami relief when we know that another tsunami is going to hit them? Why do we disperse economic aid when it puts the countries further in debt? Is it this idea of survival of the inevitable? Is this why we globalize our markets and create other country's dependency on us so that we can further exploit them through their dependence? Is that the freedom that the U.S. so fanatically shoves down the rest of the world's throats?

I know that I'm in college and that means I'm going to find passion in every little thing I figure out (stereotypically). However, I'm not trying to do that. I'm just questioning the opinions of my friends and family to see what they think. I don't really know a lot about this, like I said earlier, but I thought maybe someone would have an opinion (sarcastic or serious). Please email me and let me know your thoughts in general on this topic. Just because I'm in Poland doesn't meant that we can't have interesting conversations.


Radio Free Europe:

A.k.a. Watch out the K.G.B. is right behind you!

The Polish videos that I am watching as a class are actually documentaries about Poland. I thought it would be good for me to share with you what I learn from them for two reasons. The first being that it’s interesting, and the second is I’ve got to take a test on what I learn at the end of the semester. This week’s video was about Radio Free Europe/ Radio Liberty (RFE).

From the beginning of the 1950s up until 1990, RFE was the radio and communication organization of Poland. Deprived of freedoms of speech from the oppressive Soviets. The U.S. funded the station in an attempt to spread anti-communist sentiment. The Polish people used it as an outlet for their creativity. The station gave them a way to establish an underground movement of nonviolent protest to win back their freedom and confidence from Mother Russia.

For 40 years (Stalin was only alive for a few of those) RFE jammed Russian radio waves to deliver information into the homes of the Polish people. Aware of the frequency and time of broadcasts, the Polish people would stop their duties and listen to the valuable information being delivered over the radio waves. Keep in mind that the people that ran these stations were simply journalists delivering the real news instead of Soviet propaganda. Obviously, these things didn’t run smoothly. As a matter of fact, many of these journalists were taken to court to be tried as U.S. spies [Just like me, shh! (or as the Germans say it, psst!)].

Over the years, as power changed hands and inspiration grew throughout Eastern Europe. RFE continued to deliver news to the Eastern Block. Eventually, history wrote itself, and obviously Poland is working on improving its economy, but this all ended just around 17-20 years ago, and here I am sitting in the middle of it (which is bananas). Wrocław was the first broadcast in Poland, and RFE continues to deliver news in areas where uncensored news is hard to find.

That concludes my intelligence of the day. As a special treat, I have left links to explore since I will be away for so long. I love and miss you all! If inspired, go forth and inspire!

http://www.sonnyradio.com/hongkong.htm

http://www.misternicehands.com/

http://www.johnsadowski.com/big_spanish_castle.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Toft

Partners in Crime

This man is Ben, and he was Teresa's surprise birthday present. We did such a good job keeping secrets that she was writing angry songs about him in her room while I was sending him emails to confirm his arrival and deliberating our party plans. We have a slight language barrier, but that never stood in the way of true friends. You all might remember him as our connection at Oktoberfest. Anyway, we spent the weekend hanging out with him. He went to stand in the hour-long line at the store for us, and then made us breakfast 2 mornings in a row. I was very impressed.

This is how the weekend played out because my weekend starts on Thursday. Thursday was a dinner to plan our trip to Amsterdam on Halloween weekend. After that it was bedtime. Then on Friday, Teresa and I took Ben on a tour of the city. It was cold and raining so we stopped to get some mulled wine at a pub in the city center. There is a picture of the wine on Facebook in the Wroclaw photo album. It's hot wine with an orange slice, nutmeg, and cloves. It was perfect after being out in the cold for so long. Then we met with my friend Maria and we went to eat traditional Polish cuisine.

After dinner we went to our first live music event in Poland. These events take careful planning because we can't read the signs that tell us what they are and where to go. There was the band and they played a montage of footage from different films on a big screen. It was cool, and we had a good time. We had a slight altercation with one of the Polish men. Apparently, the Polish men are very possessive. The guy got jealous that Ben was talking to Teresa, Maria, and myself so he tried to pick a fight. I told him to leave and he did. Later that evening a very nice Asian woman told me to be careful. She said she remembered me from the last time I was there (2 weeks ago) because all Polish men were watching me. That scared me a little, but I'm going to find some mace and go out in a larger group. We took a taxi home. My roommate informed me the next morning that I was speaking French to Ben on the balcony once we got home because of our language barrier. She said I was speaking it perfectly because I was drunk. The funny thing is that Ben doesn't speak French.

Last night, Saturday, we went to the pub, with the swings, across the street. Two of the Erasmus students were the DJs. It was crowded and hot. I would describe it as muggy, almost like standing in a sauna where the steam is other people’s sweat. I was told I have a classic Slovak beauty, which boosted my self-esteem. We got to the party late and then left early. I was tired and I wasn't in the mood to socialize. Plus, everyone was so drunk when we got there it was hard to hold a conversation. The photo is of Teresa, Jenny-Vaugn, and myself on Saturday night. Right after this Jenny-Vauhn asked me if someone ripped my tits. She meant to say tights.

This is going to be a normal week. Friday we go to Berlin and I'm really excited about that. As I said before, the next weekend is Amsterdam. Then the weekend after that is Krakow if my request is accepted. If anyone has any interesting questions about what I’m doing here, the culture, etc. Please let me know I would be happy to post a blog about it, and I’m sure that others would be happy to learn more about the country. Stay tuned!

What happened to fall?

It's so cold. I'm talking below 0 already. I got lost this morning after missing my bus stop. I walked around in the freezing rain for an hour thinking, "Oh great." I really need to learn Polish. It's hard to be covert when you carry around a map and smile like a crazy person because your laughing at yourself for being so hopelessly lost you can't find a bus home. This is going to be awesome.

Ok. Alright. It's ok, I'm alright.

Dzien dobry! I have gotten over my inadequacy a little. It still pains me that I am not as cool as some of the people I'm with. These kids are younger than me with so much ambition. They are just everything I want to be. So, I guess it's good I'm hanging out with them. I just feel so inferior because here are these people that speak their mother tongue and my mother tongue. Then on top of that they are learning Polish as well as other languages. There is one girl who speaks something like 15 languages. I can barely speak a paragraph in French, which is never understood by the French people here because my words are drowning in my accent. By the way, it turns out American accents are ugly. I know this because they pick on me. I still try, and as time progresses my language ability will also. I'm so glad that I am here because it felt like I was walking in circles living in Greensboro. I'm starting to not take myself so seriously, and who knows maybe someday I might be the life of the party. I'm just kidding I was definitely always the life of the party, maybe.

Everything is working out very well with school. I was freaking out about it a little, but it turns out it's fine. I'm taking the Polish course, sociology of politics, a class on global and regional governance, a polish movie night course (you just watch polish movies with subtitles in English), and contemporary polish society. The classes are an hour and a half one day a week, each class on a different day. Now you can see why I have all this free time. Teresa has some diplomacy workshops she is going to and I'm planning on joining her for some of those. I'm trying to find the school gym, and there is also a gigantic pool here with water slides. Maybe I'll come back to the US ripped, but I doubt it.

So far, that's the update. Some of the other students and I are planning a trip to Berlin not this weekend, but the next. Also, Stockholm is in the works, and maybe Amsterdam. I'm not really crazy about going to Amsterdam so maybe not. There is also a trip being planned for Krakow. Just outside of Krakow is Auschwitz and we will have a guided tour of that when we go for all you Nazi fanatics. The group that is planning that trip likes to give a one day notice and you have to sign up because there are only 100 slots available out of 300 Erasmus students. It is possible that I might not go because I can go later and it isn't a problem. I promise I will go so my family doesn't freak out. I personally think that going to Auschwitz is going to scar me a little, but you can all hug me when I return. I think both the Stockholm and Amsterdam plans are for around that same time. All of them, however, are not until the end of November with the exception of Berlin. I've talked to Jenna, and she will come sometime after December. I think I'm going to wait for her to get here before going to France or Italy. It depends on what she wants to do. There is talk of trips to Prague and Barcelona as well. I will keep you all up to date in photos and such. I am also accepting any kind of donations for hostel costs, food, a leather jacket, etc (did you catch that?). I can't afford to buy presents for everyone and pay for the trips. Also, the gifts have to be shipped. Just a little thought for food. I hope everyone is well, and I will try to be in contact as much as possible to feed you stories of life in this backwards country (that's no joke). Do widzenia!

Je ne suis pas originale.

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Oh good, I wasn't expecting that, but now I can see that was obviously going to be how this all turned out.

This is the grossest thing I've come across so far. Here we have a Polish hamburger. It's hard to see by the picture, but inside there is ground beef, white cabbage, red cabbage, bread and butter pickles, corn, vinegar, and 1000 Island dressing. You can pick up your own hand full of "fuck you taste-buds" outside of our dormitory. My flat mates were eating these and tried to tell me that they weren't bad, but I know what they were up to. After this they continued into there regular late night eating spree with some fried cheese that smells and tastes like my Vans. These girls are human garbage cans. We seriously ate chicken butts the other day. I tried it, but no more chicken butts for me.

Today's blog, however, is not about food. Instead, I want to gripe about my experience at the movies today. Xuane and I awoke to a rainy, cold, Polish afternoon and decided to skip the National Museum to go see District 9. I really wanted to see Zombieland, but this is Poland so you take what you can get. One cool thing about the theaters here is that they serve booze at a fairly normal price. I am a full fledged fan of popcorn and soda (I don't like to eat the popcorn), but I can think of times it would be cool to have a beer. Today's choice: Sprite, caramel covered popcorn, and assorted Haribo gummies.

Now, let's start with the previews. Saw VI is on it's way. Um, can somebody please kill the cash cow already? Honestly, what is wrong with people today? Those movies aren't scary they are just gore fests. I can see having a small market of those kinds of movies, but 6 of the same terrible plot!? Do these people not realize what is happening to them? Have they never heard of a capitalist market? Not to mention most "scary movies" like the Saw empire are exactly the same. Someone has to account for taste. This needs to stop. I could go on a similar rant about the Final Destination movies. I get it. The guy is cursed and instead of him dying all his friends die in abnormal ways. Good, one more reason for me to be afraid of the world around me and the life I'm living.

2012, I wish the media would leave this one alone. It's going to turn into the 1999/2000 fiasco where paranoid people start freaking out. People that tell me information about the world coming to an end when there is nothing I can do about it drive me nuts. Why would I want to know that Yellowstone is a super volcano that is long over due to erupt, and if it does most of the people on earth will die? Or, the poles are 1000 years over due to shift. If that's the case, I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's a thrill that I can live without.

Finally, District 9. Oh man, I wanted to go to sleep in this movie, but my chair wasn't comfortable enough and I was on a sugar high. I didn't realize that aliens understood English without speaking it, and that people from South Africa could understand alien language without speaking it. Hey writers, that doesn't make any sense. I personally have no idea what the aliens said because it was all in Polish subtitles. This baffles me because if Tom Cruise can play an English speaking Nazi with no accent why couldn't the aliens speak English? Is it more believable that 2 different species can communicate with each other perfectly without ever using a symbol, hand gesture, or common form of language? I know it's a movie, but I just want them to try a little if I'm going to spend $9 on it.

What I hated the most by far was the figurative elbow that I felt in my side from the writers whispering, "Get it? It's about the apartheid and racism." It was so obvious that this is what they were getting at that they might as well just flashed it up on the screen before the movie started. Then, to add insult to injury, they put the setting in Johannesburg. Really!? They turned the native Africans into racists. As if those people didn't suffer enough going through it themselves. They make this movie that basically says, "Hey, don't forget how easy it is to be racist." No duh. No one should waste their time or money on this 2 hours of a reminder that some people are straight up stupid. But, that's just my opinion. I don't know what the aliens said. There could have been some key information. I think I got it, but I'm willing to debate the facts if their are any disputes of this opinion.

Good news! I signed up for internet two weeks ago and I finally got it.

Let the skyping commence!

Germany, part 1

I'm back to Wroclaw or Breslau depending on if you ask a German or a Polski. It was a great experience, but supa-expensive. I dropped 200 euro at least. I might have to pick up a job. Although, I doubt I will spend so much in other cities that I go to in the future. It was a long car ride. It took about 9 hours which isn't bad, but with strangers feels a little longer. Oh well, the French girl we were with didn't speak English extremely well so we were entertained by her mistakes. For example she told me she, "needed to check her cunt" and she asked me to, "close the condom," instead of telling me she needed to check her bank account and to close the curtain. I also got to drive on the autobahn. I got up to 180 km (110-120 miles per hour) before I was scared I would kill everyone in the car. Surprisingly, the speed is not the scariest part. At some points the road is just ridiculously narrow. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I took it, no regrets. The countryside in West Germany is beautiful. There are fields and fields of hops gardens and wheat. Plus, they have these giant modern windmills that look so space age. I couldn't get a good picture of it for you guys and that makes me sad.

The pictures are now posted on-line with info. Like I said, I'll try to get the other pictures from Juliana she is serious about some photo taking. In the coming days I'm working on figuring out my classes. There is a boat trip/party on Wednesday, but I'm not sure you will care to see those pictures so I might not post them. It's time to settle back into a normal lifestyle. I need to save money after this trip and the haircut fiasco. There is still no internet at the dorm. I'll keep trying, but it is a very difficult situation because the administration doesn't speak English. Anyway, in order to talk to anyone that isn't available between 10-2 in the mid-morning/afternoon I would have to stay up until like 1 am or 2 am. I'll figure it out. I miss you guys so much!

I love fanta!

So, I got a haircut today. If you are taken to a salon where the furniture is still ruled by communism and the hairdresser is older than dinosaurs, heed my advice and just leave. I was so dumb and sat down because I was like, "Oh, she obviously has a lot of experience." It's true, she did, but one must differentiate between a hair dresser and a stylist. It was the worst haircut I have ever had, and I almost cried for the first time. The first cut was about $15 and then I spent another $40 to get it fixed. It took a total of 4 hours to get a haircut. So, now I have no hair. It's an exciting and new look for my exciting and new life.

Speaking of exciting, tomorrow at 11 am I'm going to Octoberfest in Munich. Yay! I'll post the pictures later of the great time I had. Lots of love!